estoicismo

I calculate how long it takes me to brush my teeth in the shower
I eat as much fruit as I can
I drink black tea never coffee never ever coffee
I wonder how long it will take until I start to miss this place
The people with their jean jackets and hiking boots
The people with their cigarettes stuffed between their teeth
The people who have come before me
And those still to come

I write alone and I call my Mom when I can
The call goes to voicemail most times
I breath and think about telling her about how proud I am
That I quit smoking almost two years ago
But I dont say a word and hang up

Somebody once told me that life will never eat you whole
But take little bites out of you
Until you are bleeding and begging for mercy
I am beginning to understand that now more then ever
I am full of holes and collapsing on the carpet

Esperanza Friel, The First Warm Day of March